Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's rum buckets o'clock
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
