Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
