then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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