i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
