Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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