She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
