i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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