Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
