It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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