Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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