Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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