New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
