found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
