i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
