after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize