Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
