I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
