Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
