Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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