So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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