Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
