I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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