you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
