have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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