let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
