whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
