how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
