But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
