AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
