Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
