Nicole vs. Life
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
