Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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