I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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