I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize