You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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