That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
