At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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