so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
