Yo dont text me then not text me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize