why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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