Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm at about main and main street
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I have so many feelings about this burrito
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
