I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
