oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You were trust falling into bushes
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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