eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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