So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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