ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
