So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
