My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
