My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
