I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
