I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
