"it" just moved
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
