In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
