He told me they were just razor bumps!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize