You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
