Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
