Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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