I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
