We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
