Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I deserve this hangover.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize