Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize