It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
