what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
